What is something that surprised you? originally appeared on Quora, the place to gain and share knowledge, empowering people to learn from others and better understand the world. You can follow Quora on Twitter, Facebook, and Google Plus.

The company I work for is growing incredibly fast. As the company grew, my job has demanded different things from me.

I increasingly felt like I was moving away from what I am best at and most interested in, in a way that served neither my company nor myself.

I went to my boss to tell him my job did not feel right anymore (if this sounds brash, it wasn’t).

He responded by suggesting I focus on the very things I did what were most valuable (if this makes it sound like he’s awesome, that’s because he is).

As a result, I am giving up my current role, transitioning it off to someone else, and taking up another role, one that is better suited to me.

“This is the dream,” Boyfriend tells me. “What a luxury, to be able to do that."

I couldn’t agree more. I walk out of my boss’s office expecting to feel a spring in my step, relief. Instead, what I feel is inconsolable.

The sadness I felt in the days (and weeks) that followed completely surprised me (despite the fact that a dear friend both predicted and warned me about it).

It felt like I was carrying something I wanted to but could not hide. I teared up in every meeting.

What a catastrophe.

With a couple of exceptions, most (beloved, well-intentioned) people tried to make me feel better by pointing out I had nothing to feel sad about. My entire body seemed to disagree:

Work is what I have to offer. I want very much for work to just be something I do, but it isn't. Work is who I am. It’s the price to pay for requiring that everything I do grant me a sense of purpose. For quite some time it felt like what I was doing was making a difference. It mattered. I mattered. Now I felt like nothing I did mattered. (“I am not saying this is logical or true”, I’d explain. “I am saying this is what I feel.”)

Co-workers are like family. During my time in this job, I built a team and we are all very close. It's not that we ignore work boundaries - it's that this is what happens when you have a tendency to select people who bring all of themselves into the office. I was sitting right here when one of my coworkers lost her dog - and also when she found her, skinny but safe, almost two weeks later. I was sitting right here when another coworker whispered in my ear that she was pregnant. I was sitting right here when another co-worker had to dash out because her daughter had a fever.

Convenience is a big part of friendship. I have friends across the company, and I feel like leaving my role jeopardizes these friendships. One of my beloved friends would have none of that. "Dushka, please. I don't love you because of your role. I love you because you are you". I understand that. But I also know convenience is powerful. If we don’t have to get together for meetings, will I still see you? I don’t want to be a happy hour friend. I am an in the trenches friend.

It’s hard, to disappoint people. I am sure that in the process of feeling that this job no longer fit me I felt disengaged and uninterested when I should have felt plugged in. I know I disappointed people who expected something different from me. I can't be what others want from me. Disappointing people is a requirement if I’m to have a life that belongs to me. The fact that I know this does not make it any less painful. I feel awful that I let you down.

Life goes on. The fact that life goes on is both what breaks me and what saves me. No matter how important you feel - or how important you are - once you decide you are moving on, things have the audacity to move on without you. This is what you want, for what you build to stand strong after you leave. But it made me feel both easily replaceable and continuously left out.

All through this process, from the first pang of sensing the job was evolving into something not right for me to now, when I'm closer to stepping into a role better suited for me, I have felt the certainty that I am making the right decision.

Still, I would have really appreciated the reminder that it's normal for a decision to hurt even when it’s right. Normal to grieve a loss even when it’s a win. Normal to feel a whole lot of things that “don’t make sense” to others.

Please go right ahead and feel whatever you are feeling. Your feelings are yours, and feelings are always valid.

This question originally appeared on Quora. More questions on Quora:

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