A boyfriend crashed my first true solo trip. I’m not sure I ever really forgave him. He turned my three-month backpacking adventure around Australia into his dream surf vacation, and I suddenly became the one tagging along. Four years later, at the age of 25, I finally took my own surf trip—my first true solo adventure—to the North Shore of Oahu. I had always wanted to attend surf camp but never pulled the trigger because I was waiting for a friend to join. Plenty of girlfriends expressed interest but work, relationships, money or some other excuse prevented them from committing. I realized I'd be 70 by the time our schedules aligned so I boldly moved the accommodation count on the booking form from two to one and sent in a deposit. That was 15 years ago. To this day, three of the women I met on that trip remain dear friends and one in particular, my annual adventure buddy. Traveling alone has led me to meet some extraordinary people and open the possibility to experiences I’d never have had if I were with a group or even a partner. It has made me a bolder woman but has also served as a constant reminder to the kindness of strangers. The women we spoke to all have different reasons for traveling solo at various stages of their lives, but all of them say what they learned for the experience is that when you travel, you’re never really alone.

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I grew up in a very conservative family in the Philippines. The idea of traveling anywhere, let alone traveling alone was unfathomable. The first time I left my country was to attend fashion school in Italy. Even at university, I felt I had to live by my family’s rules. I knew the fashion world wasn’t for me so against my parents’ wishes, I set out to travel the world at 22. My mom didn’t speak to me for two years she was so upset, but I found a new sense of freedom on the road.

When I started out, I didn’t even know what a backpack was! I thought it was just for mountaineering. I'd hop from hostel to hostel with that thing and it was surprisingly easy to make friends, but finding someone to bond with on a romantic level was a lot harder and it became clear I was looking for that connection on the road. So I started to use dating apps like Tinder and Bumble while traveling and a whole world opened up.

Dating while traveling gives you the ultimate insider access to a place especially if your romance is with a local. I dated a chef in Hong Kong and he took me to all of the best street food spots I would never have found on my own. In Medellin, Columbia I had a date take me salsa dancing and in Mexico a man took me paddle boarding and biking, two things I’d never think to do on my own. These experiences are a lot more exciting than the usual drinks and dinner.

I’ve had so many incredible things happen to me on the road that I turned my travel into a career as a blogger and I've never looked back.

When I was 24, I had a really devastating breakup while finishing university. To help me get over him, someone recommended I do something I would not have done if I had still been with that person. So I booked a three-month trip around Europe. Nine days before I was about to leave, I met a guy at a party and we had a strong connection—and he ended up joining my adventure: what I planned as a solo three-month trip ended up being something quite different! We've now been married for 12 years and have three kids ages 11, 9 and 7.

I’m now 39 and work as a physiotherapist in Sydney, Australia. My husband and I have a lot of solo hobbies and passions and although we are crazy busy with a young family and work, we like to see each other do the things we love, so we take breaks for ourselves.

My ex-husband and I used to travel all the time. In addition to weekend hiking and camping trips, at least once a year we’d do a big backpacking trip to the Dolomites or Alps. He always did all of the planning. After he left, I forced myself to do a solo backpacking trip to prove to myself that I could do it without him. I planned a two-night trip with my two dogs, Bo and Jack, in Indian Peaks Wilderness about an hour away from my home in Boulder, Colorado. I was a little nervous but having my dogs made all the difference. I went out and bought all the gear that my ex took, like a water filtration and sleeping pad and I treated myself to a brand new backpack—the old one had too many memories. I felt super accomplished that spent two nights in the backcountry by myself. I had been so dependent on my ex and this trip proved that I could also take care of myself.

Shortly after I planned a three-night solo backpacking trip to Santa Fe. I got asked out twice while I was there which was great for my ego. I treated myself to a nice hotel and took myself for drinks at this great restaurant Geronimo to celebrate taking back my maiden name. It was the first time in my life that I ate dinner in a restaurant alone and it wasn’t as scary as I thought.

I lost my husband when I was 49. We were big travelers, even after we had kids. Our longest trip as a family was 10 months in Europe. We home schooled our youngest, put the second youngest in school in Switzerland and our oldest two would come and visit. My husband got sick with a very rare disease and eventually passed away. The grieving process was very long and up and down. I remember it was a Saturday in February just over two years after I lost him that I felt myself falling back into a devastating cycle of grief again. I knew I couldn’t go there and for whatever reason, right then, decided I would travel solo.

I googled "solo traveler" and found very little information. So as a freelance business writer, I decided to start my own blog, solotravelerworld.com. The first trip I took as a widow was down the Blues Highway from Chicago to New Orleans by train. I went to a lot of blues bar on that trip but I remember one in particular in Jackson, Mississippi. It looked like an old house from the outside but had a bar upstairs. A friendly looking man came in and sat near me and everyone seemed to know him. He bought me a beer and we got to exchanging stories. Eventually, I called a taxi and the man came down to say bye, leaned in toward the driver, looked him in the eye and said, if this taxi goes anywhere but this woman’s hotel I will know. I felt so taken care of.

Over the years, I’ve learned that talking to strangers allows you to tell your story. There are no repercussions. And the more you tell your story, the more you understand it better and can accept what’s happened to you and start to heal. In telling my story, I’ve realized my husband will always be part of me and along with me on my travels. He was always the more gregarious one and without him I’ve learned to be more talkative. He was the photographer and now I’m the one taking photos and have learned to see things the way he saw them through a lens. Losing a spouse is incredibly painful at the beginning but through travel I’ve learned to celebrate his life and live life the way he’d want me to.

Journalist Jen Murphy splits her time between Maui and Boulder, Colorado so she can snowboard and surf. She writes about adventure travel and wellness for the Wall Street Journal, Town & Country, Travel + Leisure, Outside and Men's Journal. She is the author of the Yoga (Man)ual and editor of the Wildsam Field Guide to Hawaii.