How would you describe your parenting style? originally appeared on Quora, the place to gain and share knowledge, empowering people to learn from others and better understand the world. You can follow Quora on Twitter, Facebook, and Google Plus.

I’m teaching my 6-year-old son to be disobedient.

And everyone thinks I’m crazy.

“Grandma said she’ll give me a gift if I let her shampoo my hair,” he tells me the other day.

I can see how torn and conflicted he looks.

My son’s a swashbuckling, bug-hunting pirate.

You’d have an easier time getting a stray cat to take a shower.

“I hear you,” I reply, making sure she’s out of earshot. “My take?” he leans in. “If she wants to give you a gift, she should just do it. No strings attached.”

He nods and we exchange conspiratorial smiles.

“You’ve got to rein in that wayward son of yours,” she tells me after a botched shower attempt.

But I won’t.

Of course, I’m always encouraging him to be kind, respectful, and thoughtful with others.

But I won’t use the stick or the carrot.

Because when he’s older and someone hands him a rifle telling him who the enemy is, I want him to do his own thinking.

Because when he’s older and someone offers him a pill and tells him he’ll have the best time of his life, I want him to question.

Because when he’s older and someone offers him a quick reward in exchange for giving up his values, I want him to stand his ground.

Am I making my life difficult as a parent?

Definitely.

Is it worth it?

Without a doubt.

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