How do I identify and build awareness about how I’m showing in conversations? originally appeared on Quora, the place to gain and share knowledge, empowering people to learn from others and better understand the world.

You need others to help you understand how you’re showing up in the world. We all need to cultivate an intentional Personal Board of Directors, 3-4 people who can be called upon to keep us growing and improving. Try to identify people who can play a particular role, such as and ask them:

How do you experience me when I am frustrated?

How do you experience me when I am happy?

How do you experience me when I am rushed or flustered?

How did you experience me when we first met?

Shoot to ask these questions of these 4 types of people:

Mentor: one who knows your potential can guide you to use your gifts, strengths, and skills to improve your outlook. This person may have more experience than you or wisdom in professional areas in which you aim to grow.

Role Model: Choose a person who inspires you, who is honest, open, authentic, and able to paint a full picture. This person doesn’t assume your narrative (or version of your story) but sees through it to help you.

Encouraging Friend: Choose a person who knows you—your backstory, your ambitions, your flaws. Talk it out! Vent, process, and let your friend cheer you up.

Coach: Choose a person who may intimidate you and can keep you accountable. This person doesn’t have to be your boss, or a boss, just someone who is tough, can call you out, and keep your feet to the fire.

Begin watching how your body and mind reacts in certain conversations and/or situations. Begin watching for patterns. Over time, you will learn the conditions that make you show up well or poor.

This question originally appeared on Quora.

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