How can curiosity help me bridge the gap with someone I struggle with at work? originally appeared on Quora, the place to gain and share knowledge, empowering people to learn from others and better understand the world.

We are born curious, it’s hard-wired in our DNA. However, as we grow older, research shows that our perceptual curiosity drops and we often stop wondering why others behave, speak, and act like they do. When we stop being curious about how our colleagues, clients, and bosses’ think in service of understanding and/or collaborating with them better, it’s easy to grow frustrated. Embrace the desire to work together and use curiosity whenever you find yourself becoming confused, irritated, or anything in between. Ask yourself: “What is the gap between us? How can I become curious about their behavior, language, and/or attitude? How can I depersonalize this struggle and become curious about the transactions between us in service to our work?”

Adopt an explorer mindset and suspend your desire and/or need to react or create a negative dynamic between you. Choose to not take things personally and recognize that they are doing the best that they can do given the skills they have and the moment they are in. Offer grace, and become deeply curious about why they struggle to connect, communicate, or collaborate with you. Everyone has different preferences when it comes to how they work and/or communicate— try to understand their preferences and why it’s rubbing the relationship between you both wrong.

Choosing curiosity in this way can lessen the emotional impact on you because curious thinking creates psychological distance and space to process better.

This question originally appeared on Quora.

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